Melbourne in all it's sadness and beauty.

So on the 24th of september, Our adventure to Melbourne started. Seann, Rune and I headed into hot damn in sydney for Seanns 21st which was pretty much uneventful except for seeing someone i hadn't seen in a while, And memories swarm like bee's too eager to sting and leave you feeling dizzy, sore - red cheeked and obvious.

At 4am I decided to walk to the car to sleep rather than stay.
Though i was quickly joined by Seann and Rune who'd also had enough.

I decided I wasn't tired and so i put the keys in the ignition and started driving towards melbourne, drunk and eager. The sunrise was beautiful.

"Well you say that i treat you like a book on a shelf, i don't take you out that often because i know that i've completed you... how awful that must feel."

By around 9 I was falling into dream and decided to pull over before i ended up at one with the pavement.
Seann took over and i crashed out massively.

I was awoken two hours later by a feild of the most beautiful flowers.
We pulled over and got some polaroids and and other various film shots.
Everything really does feel so much better when you're travelling at high speeds,
You can assure yourself that you're escapeing somehow and that nothing can follow you.

After that we hit the road and i crashed for the majority of the trip.

We came into melbourne too excited for words.
As eager as children in a unmapped playcenter.

We got to leigh's around 4.30 and met his parents, showered and came down stairs. His family were nice and his mum was like a chef. the food was amazing.
Then people started showing up and the alchohol flowing and everything was laughs and smiles.
I played a sort of mini show for them... completely fucked.

After that, it's blurry.

I awoke first the next morning, excited and ready to clean after the night before.
But ... it was already clean... at 8am. I felt bad.

Suddenly everyone started waking, and stories from the night before were told and laughed about.
Seann and I had a epic wrestling match hahaha and my guitar nails scratched his arm hahahahahaah.

After swapping stories everyone went down for breakfast, which i skipped because i felt too sick.
Then people departed slowly with their goodbyes.

We showered again and then headed into the city to explore. Seann ended up getting some more ink, this time behgind his ear, it looked sweet.

Heading home was horrible, Melbourne weather is a lot colder and wetter than sydney.
We braved it, got home and got ready to go out to bang.

Bang was exciting, like going out to a club for the first time again.
The venue was really sweet and the tunes also good. I got really drunk really fast and it took my mind off the previous few days. The faces were new, and i liked it. The strobes were hitting upstairs and we had so much fun mind fucking people with our crazy strobe shit.

A few people recognised me and drinks were bought which was really cool. Being broke is no fun haha.

Seann decided he liked the look of a beanied girl, so I gallantly set him up with her and stole one of her 80's gloves hahaha!

Then i saw Rich Barton from Love at this Volume calling out to me at the door of bang and so I travelled outside asap. We went for a walk and talked a whole fuckload. It was great to finally meet him in person.

The cold was too much, I headed back inside and danced and got rowdy happily.
We left soon after, with Rune still trying to pick up haha! There was going to be no room left in the car so he was literally walking up to girls saying, "Hey want to come back with me, there's only room in the boot but come." So amazing, he was so drunk hahahaha!

Seann ended up going back to this girls house because leigh's mum came upstairs and told him no. Haha.

The next day was all just sleep and preps for the gig.

Seann didn't get back till late that arvo because he was 'Busy' hahaha! Was a bit late for the gig, but nothing to stress about, not that i didn't stress. I always stress. I met the gang from Warnambool as i was walking up the street and gave them much hugs. Eugene had bought me a gift. Bright Eyes' rarities on Vinyl. Best present ever and Lenore had wrote me amazing letters.

We went upstairs and I put my shit down. Soon I was setting up and getting ready to play. The gig went really swell. Though my throat was sore from the night before so I was munching on soothers all day to try heal it. It semi-worked.
Half way through my set, Seann called me over telling me that there is 40 or so people outside unable to get in because they were underage. I was saddened. I felt bad for them, making the effort to see me because i was told it was all ages only to find out it was all ages with a parent.

I finished my set and people were generous with their thank you's and I sold a fair few demos which was sweet.

We went outside and there was still some about who bought demos and had photos and had hugs. It was cute, very cute.

We went to dinner at this really sweet resturant. We had Pizza and we're joined by Taylah and her friend. The pizza was fantastic. Too good. I ordered and 'Pint' and was highly amused at the naming of the sizes of Melbourne beers. "Whats that!!!" - "It's called a pint Pippin." "I'm getting one!!!" "But you have a whole half already!" ........."INTO THE MINES!!!!"
... For those of you who have no idea what was just going on. I suggest you watch the lord of the rings haha.

We then travelled back to the Veludo to collect my free drinks.
That was good.

Then off to Kate's house for a party.
We blazed, and i played and we slept and it was good.

The trip home was a long one.


I miss it already,
I'm playing back down there on the 15th and 16th of this month, stay tuned.
If you have a couch I can crash on ... I would appreciate it heaps.

I think we all leave things behind.

Have you ever found yourself looking back into your mind, to times where everything felt alright? Tonight i was driving home from a movie, and i sort of fell into thoughts that turn my stomach and get me feeling sea-sick.

I think I have a photographic memory. I get stills that hang over my eyes, so perfectly. It's sort of repulsive, but it's like something so painfully beautiful that you can't look away.
I started thinking, about what they're thinking, and if that time of my life was the best I'll ever have.

There is some people you just click with, some people you will remember, even when you stop breathing, even when all your friends grow up, and move out and move on and forget about you.
I think that if I could go back, perhaps I could change things, perhaps I could change my mind, and their mind.

I remember I used to walk to your door. Just to surprise you, just because you knew that I'd walked that whole way, just for you. For you. Because I cared, because I did care and still care and it hurt, and it still hurts.

I don't know how, but it seems that when you love someone you inevitably push them away and you hurt them intentionally, until all that was once beautiful is tarnished and ugly, and you struggle the see the life in their eyes. we love to hurt and to be hurt.

I went to the effort of pretending to throw everything out but when you left, I collected it, like a scavenger and hid it because i knew - That in twenty years, I'm going to look back and just weep over it all. Its like Pandora's box, when I open this, I'm going to let all the evil out that I've contained inside me.

And then there is the present, and the re-occurring structures that you ever so hate, but seem to remake like a junkie that knows no other way of existence. I left behind what I knew to start re-writing history. And trust is a arrow that once you've fired, it's lost, its gone, it wont come back.

All i know is these bones just get colder, and the beauty fades from everything desireable. Until you only desire escape.


I'm going to end up empty, a lonely vessel with no-one to set sail.